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Big Man Says Slappydoo

by GUPPY

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

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      $20 USD or more 

     

1.
Aliens 02:52
When aliens come to earth I hope that I can be the first to meet them When aliens come to earth I hope to god that I’ll be the first to meet ‘em I’ll tell them all about love about how I lost it Then they’ll get so bored they’ll get back on their rockets I’ll cut off all my hair and I’ll send it to the troops It might not make sense to you but to me it do But to me it do Chorus: When aliens come to earth When aliens come to earth to earth When aliens come to earth I’m gonna meet ‘em Do you think they can tell? I’m an alien too Yeah my body’s a shell And inside I’m just goo Inside I’m just goo (x6) Chorus: When aliens come to earth When aliens come to earth to earth When aliens come to earth I’m gonna meet ‘em I’ll meet ‘em! (x3) When aliens come to earth I hope to god that they’ll buy my merch
2.
Think I’ll call the think I’ll call the think I’ll call the think I’ll call the mayor Says he’s busy says he’s busy says he’s busy says he’ll call back later That’s okay I’m busy too I’m stuck here thinking about you Wondering if I can ever can ever break through Think I’m going think I’m going think I’m going think im going crazy Thinkin bout my thinkin bout my thinkin bout my thinkin bout my baby Because I want you near and I want you far And I want you driving in my car ‘cause you make me nervous but I can still drive good at least I think I can FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I don’t wanna fall in love I don’t wanna fall in love And you can’t make me and you can’t make me and you can’t make me ‘cause I’m hard to love (I’m hard to love, baby) Yeah I’m one slippery fuck (So slippery) I’m hard to love
3.
Butt First 03:56
I was born butt first Mama thinks that I am cursed Shouldn’t go blaming it all on her ‘Cause I was born was born butt first Chorus: I think that I’m witty I think that I’m clever I’m a bitch ass nerd I’m a horny bed wetter My umbilical chord Is my phantom limb I get so bored Hope I get sucked back in Chorus: I think that I’m witty I think that I’m clever I’m a bitch ass nerd I’m a horny bed wetter I’m chicken crazy But I aint no lady I could be your baby If you don’t erase me Chorus: I think that I’m witty I think that I’m clever So why don’t you kill me? I think I’d feel better I was born butt first
4.
Die Slowly 02:36
I die slowly I die slow I die slowly each and every day I wonder what song will be playing on the radio when I get hit by a UPS truck I think Crimson & Clover Over and over And over and over And over and over I don’t want to die today But sometimes I feel that way I like going on a walk just to mail a letter I like the weight of my keys against my knees when I drive I like taking a cold shower until I feel slightly better Now I’m thinking about all the ways that I could maybe die
5.
I’m chugging milk at the Hollywood sign And I think that the dairy keeps you off my mind I think that I’m simple I feel like a child For once I feel good I’ll stay here for a while Sometimes growth is lonely I grew so tall now all I can see is your scalp Sucked up all the air now I’ll float away (x3) Don’t you be mad when I say I can’t stay (x2) ‘cause I can’t stay Bicameral mind it killed all my gods And now all I’m left with are my stupid thoughts I’m ripping out my hair fist over hand I’m taking all that hair feeding it to my plants It to my plants It to my plants It to my plants Sometimes growth is lonely I grew so tall and now I’m just me and not you Now I’m just me and not you
6.
Smooth Jazz 03:04
I wanna feel happy I wanna feel free I wanna feel something that’s other than me I wanna feel horny, but I wanna stay sweet I might as well suckle on my own damn teat I just got this tshirt from a tshirt cannon And I feel like I’m likely from another planet I like all my drinks when they’re extra cold I feel like my shit is kind of getting old Getting old, getting old Old, getting old, getting old I’m listening to smooth jazz In the parking lot outside of Joanne’s Fabrics & Crafts And I’m feeling like a dumb spazz Because my mind is moving way too fast And I’m trying to stop it Keep my hands in my pockets Now I’m driving my car with my chin No matter how hard I try it I know I can’t win Jazz, baby! That’s just jazz, baby That’s just jazz That’s just jazz, baby In my brain, baby So give me a lobotomy Really kinda feeling like I’m listening to smooth smooth jazz
7.
Soup 03:24
Why did you bring me soup? It’s just broth, but it caught me off guard You broke my heart Why’d you have to… Elevator is broken So I just cried in the stairs All my words go unspoken It’s like I’m not even there It’s like I’m not even there Like I’m not even there Why’d you have to do All the things you do? Like go and bring me soup Why’d you have to do Cursing the algorithm for showing me your shit Forgotten not forgiven so just let that sink in Let that sink in Why’d you have to do All the things you do? Like go and bring me soup
8.
Route 666 03:49
I’m just a’floating down Route 666 And I think it’s worth noting these shrooms are not what I need I just need a vacation Christmas Eve at the DMV But I aint got no patience So numbers they all wait on me Don’t wanna be stupid Don’t wanna be human today So our young traveler Traveled as far as they could And from what I could gather We’re both having no thoughts like we should And under the moonlight Our brain is the soup dejour And I know it don’t feel right But I think this lasagna’s the cure Don’t wanna be stupid Don’t wanna human Something about driving here feels like dying and being born and falling asleep so I had pull my car over on the side of the road. I got out and threw up all over the sand. Then I walked 5 miles barefoot until I came upon a little café. That’s where I found myself. That’s where they found me too. The soup of the day was lasagna. Beam me up, Scotty Beam me up, Scotty Beam me up, Scotty Beam me up (x4) That’s not my body That’s not my body That’s not my body That’s not my (x7) And I’m looking at myself from the air And I’m looking at myself from the air And I’m looking at myself from the air On the ground
9.
If I wanted to I’d care I would care I would care oooh If I wanted to I’d care I would care I would care oooh Oh but I don’t (doooon’t) I don’t (doooon’t) I don’t (doooon’t) Now that you’re gone
10.
I’m your daddy, now I’m not the milk I’m not the cow No. I am your daddy now. Chorus: I’m not your freakin mommy I’ll say it with a growl ‘cause I love you like a daddy only knows how If you must project then I must protect myself I will not cook or clean. I will be stern not mean as well So, throw out the baby with the bathwater You fuck your mother then you kill your father Chorus: So you might as well just kill me I’ll say it with a growl ‘cause I love you like daddy only knows how
11.
I’m a simple man I have a simple life I am a faithful friend I’d make a simple wife And I promise that I’m somebody’s daughter I have a simple life I am a simple man I’ll sit across the room and I’ll hold your hand You can find me in the pantry drinking hot dog water It’s hard always hanging with the ladies in the cul-de-sac And it’s hard always being the best at being sad So I do the dishes ‘cause theyre real real dirty And I cry into the sink ‘cause I cant stop from hurting That’s okay I think I’m being discreet I’m a broadcast journalist from CBS And I came here ‘cause at sadness I heard youre the best and uh I was hoping I could get some B roll So go on then and cry real hard ‘cause it’s performative now We’re gonna make you a star and uh Just to make sure are you somebody’s daughter? It’s hard always feeling like somebody else’s passing fad And it’s hard always being the best at being Tiny houses tiny hills Feeling nothing feeling shrill I’m a simple man I have simple thrills Buy me makeup oh buy me heels oh I wanna rotate in the microwave, baby I wanna die and I don’t want you to save me I want you to make me feel so Buy me makeup oh buy me heels oh Tiny houses tiny hills Feeling nothing feeling shrill I’m a simple man I have simple thrills Buy me makeup oh buy me buy me oh buy me buy me oh buy me buy me oh buy me buy me buy me buy me heels

credits

released April 22, 2022

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GUPPY Los Angeles, California

secular guitar music from los angeles

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suppymyguppy@gmail.com

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